Those still alive are now dead inside.

It’s now become every week I’m loosing someone I know either as dead or detained…It’s made me think will there be anyone left to go back to….? Other than the fact we have no homes to return to.

These were people I didn’t say bye to in 2010, people I was busy to see last time I went because my holiday was too short, people I used to think were distant relatives, khalas I’ll see them next time and also people I even never knew but worked with for the last year and they became my family…

My friends and family can now be divided between:

“Dead, detained, missing, refugee, FSA”

But it’s not just loosing them as they die or get detained….It’s also loosing those who are alive as they become dead on the inside with everything they are seeing and facing everyday, you loose the people you once knew who smiled and spoke like normal human beings as they turn into dead people walking, who can barely speak anymore, and leave you as those they have also died….

I sometimes wish this was all a nightmare and I’d wake up from it with it all gone and not really happening…

Asking God for patience, because I miss those alive who have become dead inside more than those who actually died and are enjoying heaven. I miss those alive because they have gone too.

Al7amdulilah for all but really, Homs will never forgive.

Rose x

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